The Reappearance (Via Text) of Bachelor #12

I don't know if there is something happening in the cosmos, but for some reason a lot of previous Bachelors are coming out of the woodwork like termites. Bachelor #12 (lived hella far and ended our dating time with an unsolicited dick pic) hit me up about a month ago before Spain. One night, at midnight mind you, I get a text from this fool saying "Hey remember me?" and he sent me a picture of his face (fortunately). I don't know why in the world I answered but I was said "yeah I remember you" and then he proceeded to tell me he was in the LA area with this 2 friends but he was kind of the 3rd wheel and wanted to see if I wanted to meet up. TRANSLATION.... "Hey I know I haven't seen you/talked to you in almost a year but I am horny and gross and in your area, do you want to bang?" Now, he didn't say those exact words, but I wasn't born yesterday! I know a booty call when I see one, and that was a classic case. Here are the signs of a booty call, for your education... 1) You get the text late at night- usually between 9pm-1am, 2) It's from someone you haven't talked to in forever, but had relations with previously, 3) The phrase "Do you want to get TOGETHER" - together is the key word in this sentence. You clearly don't get together for coffee or tea at midnight, even a drink at a bar would be late if you are just getting the invite at freak'n midnight!

My response was as such "No, it's midnight, I'm going to bed." You'd think that would have been clear enough.... nope. For some reason he thought texting me that he was "wandering the streets of LA alone" at 1am would convince me to invite him over. I didn't even see those other texts until the next morning. What a loser and what a gross pig!

So then this fool texts me last week, during working hours this time, and says again "Hey remember me?" I said "Yeah I remember you, you sent me a booty call text last month at midnight, claiming you were the 3rd wheel with your friends." He just said "Ha, ha, yeah sorry about that. So what are you up to?" Ummmm how about that I am at work asshole, and maybe you too should get a real job. I didn't say that but I should have. I am expecting another "Hey remember me" text in about a month, I will be more prepared next time with my witty remarks. He is like a rash that won't go away.