After going out with so many boring or random guys I always say I wish I could just date myself, because I am perfect for me. Well I got my wish, sort of.
Bachelor #33 was also named Morgan and our birthdays were 6 days apart. We both had dry, sarcastic senses of humor- but the difference was that I can be bubbly (I know shocking) and he seemed flat as a board.
On our first date we met up for drinks. He was a good looking guy and we had a decent time. I immediately noticed his dry sense of humor, but I also noticed he didn't have any inflection in his voice. He was very monotone. I thought maybe he was just nervous or something. We had a good time though, he did make me laugh, but thinking back I'm wondering if I was laughing because he was so absurdly dry or if because he actually said funny things.
I went out with him on a second date because he called me to ask me out- and I appreciated that small indication that he was a man. We had dinner, but during dinner again he was just dry as dust. I truly was 100x funnier than he was. After we went back to his place for dessert. We had some cheesecake, and we had some wine- I appreciated that he had prepared in advance so I gave him a point for that.
So then after dessert he went in for the kiss. He was the worst kisser I had experienced since the time my sister set me up with the security guard at her first job when I was right out of college and he had never kissed a girl before and I was his first kiss! Kissing him was like kissing a cave. That means that he did absolutely nothing with his tongue and that he just kind of had his mouth open- like a fish trying to get air. No wonder he is 34 and still single- he can't fucking kiss!
After a while I excused myself and went on my merry way home. I never heard from him again, and I honestly didn't give a shit. I cannot date a guy who never seems excited by anything and who doesn't know how to kiss properly. Blech!
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