Email of the Night

I am going to start little segment called "Email of the Night." I am going to post the "best" (by best I mean lame) emails that I get from Match. Here's a couple for ya...

"Hey I'm Patrick. I am an awful singer, sand crabs scare me, I eat too much chocolate, I don't wash my truck enough, I tend to laugh at inappropriate moments, and sometimes I let my dog sleep on the bed if she looks really cute..."

Ummm, what part of this email is supposed to make me jump off the couch and say "Oh thank you Lord! Thank you for sending me my soulmate!!" Does this joker really think that anything in this email makes him sound like a winner? What part am I supposed to be attracted to exactly?

Here's another one from a "39 year old," and I put it in quotes because there is no way in Hell his old ass man is 39.

"Lets meet for drinks"

That was the extent of the email. I immediately deleted it.

Here's another from some stupid 28 year old. I think he was trying to sound funny, but it was an epic fail on his part.

"I didn't see anything in your profile about your tree climbing skills or flexibility. Can you elaborate on that?"

Maybe he has a monkey fetish.