Bachelor #2 I refer to as Old Face because, well, he had an old looking face. We met on OKCupid (again, before I realized how creepy the general population was) and he was a 33 year old going to law school (allegedly). I thought to myself "Self- you need to start dating men who are more mature and who have serious professions." WRONG.
So after a few back and forth phone calls, which impressed me because no man in this day and age bothers to pick up a phone and call, we met up for a few drinks out in Hollywood. I should've realized he was an old fart when he suggested Musso and Franks. I got there before Old Face and sat at the bar, amongst all of the old men. I was sipping on a glass of wine when Old Face approached me. I can only imagine the look on my face when I saw him- YIKES! This guy was probably 33 years old approximately 10 years ago. He reminded me of a deflated tire. I should've asked for his ID, but I thought to myself "Self- give him a chance and don't be so superficial, he might be a nice, interesting fellow." He was not interesting. In fact, he seemed like the soul, spirit and life had been sucked from his body. I was trying my best to be my fun, lively and humorous self- but it was rather difficult.
Time ticked slowly by. I wanted desperately to run out of that place and be amongst some happy, fun people (that were my age). I can't even remember what he contributed to the conversation. I think we had discussed his visit with his grandfather, but I am not entirely sure. I immediately thought to myself "Self- you need to make sure he never wants to see you again." So I began recounting all of my drinking stories that I have accumulated with my friends over the last year. If I made myself sound like a lush or a party animal I was certain he would never bother to contact me again.
After the painful drinks were over we walked outside on to Hollywood Blvd and I will never forget what he said. There were a bunch of younger folks walking around, all hooched out in their "going out to a club" outfits and he said "God I hate Hollywood, I am not into the bar or club scene." As he was saying that all I could think was "My God- what I wouldn't give to be going to a club with these people right now instead of standing here with Grandpa Time."
After I drove back and went straight to Jack n the Box because I was starving (God forbid a guy fork over a few bucks for some appetizers). I then went home and called my sister crying because I was so disappointed at what a dud Old Face was. I said to her "Everyone is old and boring and I will never be able to find anyone who is fun like me." She gave me a pep talk and then I proceeded to scarf down a double cheeseburger and some curly fries- that was the highlight of the night.
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