Bachelor #8- Meow Mix

Bachelor #8 is an interesting tale. Everything started off normally and got progressively bizarre. He was a good looking man, talk, dark, handsome, had been in the Marines, grew up in my hometown, went to UCLA and worked as a security guard for the SBE group. He was also really into cross-fit and had a smok'n body.

Our first date consisted of hiking. Normally I would never agree to a first date in which I could possible perspire profusely in front of a guy, but this time I thought to myself "Self- give it a go! Don't be afraid to do something different." I also thought to myself "Self- be careful that he doesn't try and kill you and throw your body into a ditch."

It was a fun hike, despite the fact that it was hotter than hell, I was huffing and puffing up the hill and I was sweaty. Bachelor #8 had some fun stories to share and I was entertained. After the hike we said goodbye, he said next time we could do something I picked, and that was that. I honestly didn't anticipate seeing or hearing from him again.

A week later to my surprise he asked me out to a movie. We saw Argo, which is a GREAT movie and everyone should go see it. Movie dates are always weird though because you're just sitting there in the dark for a few hours, and it's really hard to get to know one another when you aren't allowed to talk. After the movie he walked me to my car, stopped, and asked if I wanted to grab a drink. A little late to be asking if I wanted to get a drink, but I said yes anyway. So we went to Barneys Beanery and we chatted for a while (mostly about fitness- which was kind of boring but I was trying to seem interested).

That week Bachelor #8 called me multiple times (once again, rare behavior in modern men but always very appreciated). Soon after the movies he asked me out again to dinner. We went out again, and again, and again. Sometimes we would get a drink, many times he would come over and we would watch some Netflix. In total we had 12 dates- a new personal best since I've begun dating. And throughout these 12 dates I maintained complete control and acted like a proper lady. In fact, after one date when he started to get what I call "wandering hands" I told him that I was a proper lady and smacked his hand away. Part of me thought he had taken this very literally because after that he didn't try anything (which was fine). But by the 12th date I was beginning to wonder "What the hell is up with this guy?" Everyone convinced me that he was probably respecting what I said about being a proper lady, and that he was most likely waiting for me to give him a green light. So it was settled... I must make a move!

One night Bachelor 8 came over, and per usual, we began watching some Netflix. I was trying to set a romantic mood by turning on the Christmas lights and busting out some wine. Well I was the only one drinking the wine, and he was full on ignoring me and watching The Wonder Years. I had enough! I turned off the TV and threw the remote across the room and said to him "We can stop trying to out-virtue each other now!" He just stared at me. I promptly began ranting, as I have been known to do, and kept asking "What do you want from me? I just don't understand what you want! What would you do if I didn't have a Netflix subscription. Most men just want sex, but YOU! YOU don't want anything!"

The rest of my ranting is a bit of a blur, but I recall him picking me up and throwing me on my couch and pulling apart my legs and asking "Is this how you want me to act?" Well in my mind the answer was yes, because up until now he had been so damn boring! But I just stared at him. Well to sum up this night I can just say that I made a huge ass of myself because everyone encouraged me to bust a move. I had never been rejected before and boy did it sting!

After that I never imagined I would hear from him again since I had basically thrown myself at him. But sure enough that night he sent me a text asking how my day was, like nothing had happened the night before. This confused me even more! After this he disappeared for a week, later telling me he was up in the SF. The night before Christmas Eve he stopped by after work because he had something to tell me in person. He came over, I made some coffee, we sat down and he began giving me a foot rub. He then proceeded to tell me he had been accepted to Stanford and was moving in a month and that nothing physical had happened between us because he wanted to figure out his situation and he wanted to give me all of the information so I could decide for myself what I wanted. Now in theory this sounds very considerate, but come on! You're telling me all this the night before Christmas? Thanks for ruining my most favorite holiday asshole! So I told him "Well, I guess we're done. You should just go now." He was like "Really? You're kicking me out?" I said "Yes, you're leaving so that's it." He was like "But I'm not leaving for a month, I don't see how this changes things between us. We can still see each other." I said "I am 30 years old, I am not doing a long distance relationship. Maybe if we had been dating for a year I would want to make this work, but we just met." He kept pushing to keep things as is, I kept saying to take a hike. But he wasn't giving up. This was the moment where he decided he was going to try and bust a move. I, however, was not having it and I said "You can for sure bet that I am so not sleeping with you now!"

After an hour of back and forth of "I want to see you still" "We're done" he finally left, but we had made plans to go drive around and look at Christmas lights after I was done at my parents house. My friends all said "Hey give it a chance, you never know it might work out." So I thought to myself "Self- let's just keep an open mind and open heart, you care about him so give it a go." Well that night I was stood up. After I was done with my Christmas Eve dinner I went home and was waiting for Bachelor 8. I kept texting, I tried calling, but nothing. A few hours later he finally told me he had been called into work. Boy was I PISSED! Here I was sitting around like an asshole on Christmas Eve waiting for a guy who was never going to show and didn't have the decency to take 2 seconds to send me a text letting me know. He officially ruined my Christmas.

However, in the spirit of Christmas my dumb ass was trying to find it within myself to forgive him. So I sent him a text saying that I was sorry I had overracted the night he told me he got into Stanford, that I cared about him and was willing to give it a try. You know what I got in response to this text the next day? Meow. Yup, he texted me Meow. Like a fucking cat. I said "What does that mean?" He said "It's cat for hello." What the fuck??? Here I express myself to him and all he can say to me is Meow?? That doesn't even make sense!

A few days later I was hanging out with my friend and her adorable baby and he sent me a text saying he didn't have to work that night and asked if I wanted to go eat. I said ok but I'm at my friends can we go at 8:30? He was like "Well I'm hungry now, lets just grab a drink after." And I was like "Really? You can't wait 30 minutes?" After that I was so fed up, in my mind I knew I was done with him, so I gave him a piece of my mind. I  said "I open up to you, I tell you how I feel and the only response I can get from you is Meow, like a fucking cat. I try to talk to you and you can never be serious, you just Meow at me." His response? You guessed it! "Meow" I was stunned! Clearly there was something wrong with him! So I said "I don't appreciate you giving me the runaround. Stop wasting my time and don't contact me again." This dumb mother fucker said "I'm not giving you the runaround and I'm pretty certain I've done absolutely nothing wrong." I didn't even respond to him. Clearly he is dumb and delusional.

I should've known he might have had a thing for cats, after all, he did own a pair of pink Hello Kitty pajama pants. Yup.... MEOW!