Bachelor #17 was my first dip in the "entertainment world." Ok not so much entertainment, but it's as close as I'm going to get most likely. He was a radio news anchor for a talk radio station. Me, being a huge talk radio nerd, was super excited by this and knew for sure my mom would approve.
On paper Bachelor #17 and I seemed like a great match. We had tons in common and we had great chemistry when we emailed and texted back and forth. We both had a passion for travel- I took a Contiki tour to Europe last summer and this May he was taking a Contiki tour to Europe as well. He had lived in Las Vegas, very close to where my family lives currently. He was from Missouri and was a nice Midwestern guy. We both enjoyed exercising and staying active.
One night in between commercial breaks he and I were texting back and forth. It was funny listening to him on the radio and hearing the commercial break and then getting a text from him. He asked me out for a drink and I was really excited. I thought "Don't fuck this up, he has potential!"
I knew the dating gods weren't on my side, however, and the match was not destined to work out. The bar we were supposed to meet up at was closed for a private party. I had gotten my hair blown out and as I was walking to our new bar it started to rain and ruined my hair. I was determined to just go with the flow though. So we went to Laurel Tavern, and although it was insanely busy, we were lucky to get a table. We talked a lot about his work and how he got into the talk radio field; however, he didn't really ask about me or my career, which I thought was odd. I also got this weird vibe from him. I am a pretty intuitive person, so I think it was my gut telling me that this wasn't going to work out. I just kept thinking maybe he was putting off a nervous or shy vibe, but it felt different than nerves. Another odd thing was that we only stayed for 1 drink which lasted about 1 hour. He asked if I wanted to go walk around and maybe find another bar. We went outside and he grabbed my hand, which I thought was odd considering I had felt like a weird vibe from him, but I went along with it. We were walking toward another bar and he stopped and said he was tired since he had been working the overnight shift and he asked if I wanted to go for a hike the next day. In my mind I was thinking
"Don't come across as overly available" but I agreed to a hike anyway. I wanted to see if I still felt that weird vibe the next day. He leaned in to give me a kiss good night and I automatically turned my head and gave him the cheek. Sorry but you don't get a kiss after an hour long date.
The next morning he picked me up and we went for a hike near my place. I did my best to keep the conversation going but there were a lot of silences, and I still felt that weird vibe. After the hike he dropped me off and all I could think was "Please don't try and kiss me again." It was Super Bowl Sunday so I wished him a happy party and bid him adieu. I never heard from him again, which was fine because, despite all of the things we had in common, and the chemistry I thought we had via email and text, in person there was just no chemistry at all. It's amazing how that can happen. Lesson learned- you can't force chemistry.
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Monday, March 11, 2013
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Bachelor #16- The Young'n
I call Bachelor #16 The Young'n because he was only 25 (5 years younger than me). I know that doesn't sound incredibly young, but maturity wise it is. I met this one at a bar, always a horrible idea I am quickly learning.
I was having a girls night with my best friends and we were sitting near these guys at the bar in NoHo. The Young'n was looking pretty cute in his blazer, and there was no part of me that thought he was under 30. He was 6'4", blonde hair, blue eyes, and he kind of reminded me of the male lead singer from Lady Antebellum. Of course one of my friends, who is a great wingwoman, got the conversation started by asking about one of the guy's t-shirts (it said I heart and then Kurt Russel's face). So then The Young'n introduced himself and his friend and we started talking. Found out he's from Victorville (yikes!) and I congratulated on his escape from that dump. He was also in a band and lived nearby. He was really charming, funny, and he bought me a drink. We talked for quite some time and eventually he got my number. I never expected to hear from him because a) he was 25 and b) we met at a bar.
A few days later, much to my surprise, he actually asked me out for a drink. Despite my better judgement I figured "What the hell!," and we met up. Again we had a nice time and talked a lot, and I found myself smitten. I kept telling myself though "Self, don't get caught up, he's a baby and this isn't going anywhere."
A few more days later he asked me out to a movie. Again I was surprised because he was asking me out more than any of the other bachelors I had met on Match. We ended up seeing Django Unchained (great movie) and it was pouring rain outside, so I dropped him off at his house (he lived 2 blocks away and he had walked). He invited me in and showed me around. Whenever a guy invites you in nothing pure ever comes from it; however, this time I held my ground (bravo for me!). We did makeout though, and the entire time I just kept thinking "What are you doing making out with this kid?" I just knew I could not let myself get attached to The Young'n, because nothing serious could develop, and I am looking for something serious with Mr. Right. So at that moment I just accepted that he was going to be my temporary boy toy, and I was going to enjoy his company until I was ready to dispose of him (sounds harsh but this is exactly what men do to women all the time- so fuck it!).
We saw each other several times after that, however, things got a bit more risque. But being with him was fun. He was lighthearted, playful, funny and it was nice to not have to worry about being serious. It was a good dating break I would say. I knew it needed to end when he drunk dialed me on a Friday night at 2am. I was sound asleep and my phone rang. I was barely awake when I answered and in my dreamlike state I thought it was Bachelor #13 calling (since at this point he was still stringing me along saying he wanted to see me again). I finally came to my senses and realized it was Bachelor #16 and boy was he drunk! It was flattering though, because he told me how much he liked me, how awesome I was, yada yada- it's never unpleasant hearing these things even from a drunk 25 year old at 2am. He said he and his friends were having a party and he wanted me to come over because they were going to play Kings Cup. As much as a I love that game my ass was not about to leave the warm comfort of my bed, so I told him no. He then put his friend's girlfriend on the phone to try and convince me to come over, but I still declined. I told him this bitch doesn't do booty calls. Of course he completely denied that this was a booty call, but I wasn't born yesterday Young'n!
The moral of this story is that it's ok to have a younger boy toy if you enjoy his company and he provides entertainment, but don't get attached to them because it will never work out. I successfully avoided becoming attached to him (he also had a super small winky that was definitely not proportionate to his gigantic stature, this fact also helped me not get too attached to him).
I was having a girls night with my best friends and we were sitting near these guys at the bar in NoHo. The Young'n was looking pretty cute in his blazer, and there was no part of me that thought he was under 30. He was 6'4", blonde hair, blue eyes, and he kind of reminded me of the male lead singer from Lady Antebellum. Of course one of my friends, who is a great wingwoman, got the conversation started by asking about one of the guy's t-shirts (it said I heart and then Kurt Russel's face). So then The Young'n introduced himself and his friend and we started talking. Found out he's from Victorville (yikes!) and I congratulated on his escape from that dump. He was also in a band and lived nearby. He was really charming, funny, and he bought me a drink. We talked for quite some time and eventually he got my number. I never expected to hear from him because a) he was 25 and b) we met at a bar.
A few days later, much to my surprise, he actually asked me out for a drink. Despite my better judgement I figured "What the hell!," and we met up. Again we had a nice time and talked a lot, and I found myself smitten. I kept telling myself though "Self, don't get caught up, he's a baby and this isn't going anywhere."
A few more days later he asked me out to a movie. Again I was surprised because he was asking me out more than any of the other bachelors I had met on Match. We ended up seeing Django Unchained (great movie) and it was pouring rain outside, so I dropped him off at his house (he lived 2 blocks away and he had walked). He invited me in and showed me around. Whenever a guy invites you in nothing pure ever comes from it; however, this time I held my ground (bravo for me!). We did makeout though, and the entire time I just kept thinking "What are you doing making out with this kid?" I just knew I could not let myself get attached to The Young'n, because nothing serious could develop, and I am looking for something serious with Mr. Right. So at that moment I just accepted that he was going to be my temporary boy toy, and I was going to enjoy his company until I was ready to dispose of him (sounds harsh but this is exactly what men do to women all the time- so fuck it!).
We saw each other several times after that, however, things got a bit more risque. But being with him was fun. He was lighthearted, playful, funny and it was nice to not have to worry about being serious. It was a good dating break I would say. I knew it needed to end when he drunk dialed me on a Friday night at 2am. I was sound asleep and my phone rang. I was barely awake when I answered and in my dreamlike state I thought it was Bachelor #13 calling (since at this point he was still stringing me along saying he wanted to see me again). I finally came to my senses and realized it was Bachelor #16 and boy was he drunk! It was flattering though, because he told me how much he liked me, how awesome I was, yada yada- it's never unpleasant hearing these things even from a drunk 25 year old at 2am. He said he and his friends were having a party and he wanted me to come over because they were going to play Kings Cup. As much as a I love that game my ass was not about to leave the warm comfort of my bed, so I told him no. He then put his friend's girlfriend on the phone to try and convince me to come over, but I still declined. I told him this bitch doesn't do booty calls. Of course he completely denied that this was a booty call, but I wasn't born yesterday Young'n!
The moral of this story is that it's ok to have a younger boy toy if you enjoy his company and he provides entertainment, but don't get attached to them because it will never work out. I successfully avoided becoming attached to him (he also had a super small winky that was definitely not proportionate to his gigantic stature, this fact also helped me not get too attached to him).
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Bachelor #15- The Disappearing Act
I'm not really sure what happened to Bachelor #15, he just sort of disappeared.
Our first date we met up for drinks at this little dive bar near me. It was a fun time. We talked a lot and laughed a lot, and I thought it went well. He was 31, lived in Burbank but had gone to school in San Diego (originally from Texas though, and born in Germany because his parents were in the airforce), also worked in post-production, and had a crazy work schedule.
There was a long lag time between our next date because he was on vacay in Hawaii, but he said right after he got back he wanted to go out for sushi. Well he came back, and true to his word he asked me out for sushi. We had a pleasant time again. Good conversation and lots of laughs. After dinner he walked me to my car, gave me a hug good night, and said he'd give me a call. Well he never called.
Now I don't care too much that he didn't call, because he didn't knock my socks off or anything. But it's really the principal of it all. Why bother to say you're going to call when you really have no intention of doing so? Just say good night and leave it at that. There's no need to throw in the "I'll call you" card, it just makes me hate you later on. So ladies, when a guy says he's going to call just remember that 99% of the time he is full of shit, and don't bother checking for missed calls.
Our first date we met up for drinks at this little dive bar near me. It was a fun time. We talked a lot and laughed a lot, and I thought it went well. He was 31, lived in Burbank but had gone to school in San Diego (originally from Texas though, and born in Germany because his parents were in the airforce), also worked in post-production, and had a crazy work schedule.
There was a long lag time between our next date because he was on vacay in Hawaii, but he said right after he got back he wanted to go out for sushi. Well he came back, and true to his word he asked me out for sushi. We had a pleasant time again. Good conversation and lots of laughs. After dinner he walked me to my car, gave me a hug good night, and said he'd give me a call. Well he never called.
Now I don't care too much that he didn't call, because he didn't knock my socks off or anything. But it's really the principal of it all. Why bother to say you're going to call when you really have no intention of doing so? Just say good night and leave it at that. There's no need to throw in the "I'll call you" card, it just makes me hate you later on. So ladies, when a guy says he's going to call just remember that 99% of the time he is full of shit, and don't bother checking for missed calls.
Bachelor #14- The Longest Coffee Date Ever
Bachelor #14 was dry as dirt and seemed like a snob to top it off. We met up at a coffee shop, and I think I mentioned this before, but I HATE coffee dates! It only lasted an hour, but it truly felt like the longest hour of my life. He was a good looking guy, half Pacific Islander and half white (my sister kept telling me to date an Asian guy, this was my first attempt), he was 31, lived in Pasadena, worked as an engineer, and volunteered as a tutor for homeless kids- all good things (on paper).
Getting this guy to talk was like pulling teeth! I wish I had counted the number of long, awkward silences there were. I think we mostly talked about him, I can't really remember because I just kept looking at the clock and I was zoning out. He gave off a snobbish vibe though, so I immediately knew I'd never see him again. I could tell he was a snob because I mentioned that my parents like Dennys and they used to go every Friday night, and he was like "eww who goes to Dennys?" Well that was it, nobody insults my parents taste in crappy restaurants!
That's the end of this story. Sorry this one wasn't very exciting either. As a heads up, the next one is boring too.
Getting this guy to talk was like pulling teeth! I wish I had counted the number of long, awkward silences there were. I think we mostly talked about him, I can't really remember because I just kept looking at the clock and I was zoning out. He gave off a snobbish vibe though, so I immediately knew I'd never see him again. I could tell he was a snob because I mentioned that my parents like Dennys and they used to go every Friday night, and he was like "eww who goes to Dennys?" Well that was it, nobody insults my parents taste in crappy restaurants!
That's the end of this story. Sorry this one wasn't very exciting either. As a heads up, the next one is boring too.
Bachelor # 13 - The Fake Nice Guy
There's nothing worse than a guy who pretends to be Mr. Nice Guy, when in reality he is a huge douche bag, asshole, fuck face. And that was Bachelor #13. We met immediately after the debacle with Bachelor #8 (Meow Mix), it was right before New Years Eve when we started emailing back and forth. On paper he seemed amazing. 32 years old, from Boston, family oriented, worked in post-production, lived around the corner from me, and was a good looking guy. Score!
Our first date was incredible. I thought the dating gods were finally smiling upon me and that maybe Bachelor #13 would be my lucky number. He picked me up at my place (which is a rarity but I thought it was very nice), we had dinner at a great Mexican place in West Hollywood, talked and laughed the entire time, and then went to see Marty and Elaine at the Dresden (who doesn't love listening to old people sing at a dive bar?). Afterward we came back to my place and watched a movie (The Devil Inside Me- terrible movie, don't waste your time). In case you're wondering nothing scandalous happened. I was drinking coffee and after I put my mug down he said "I've been waiting for you to put that mug down so I can kiss you." I thought that was really cute (yeah I'm a sucker) and so I gave him permission to kiss me. It was definitely the highlight of my night, considering Bachelor #8 wouldn't make any move whatsoever.
After this glorious date his true colors started to quickly show. He kept telling me he wanted to take me out again. The next week he kept texting me and saying he wanted to go out to dinner... providing that he could get out of work at a decent hour. Well that week it never happened because he allegedly had to work late. Ok fine, I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
The next week passed by, and again he kept saying he wanted to see me. Well the weekend rolled around and this fucking guy ended up going to San Diego with his friend. Then why the hell did you keep saying you wanted to go out you dumb asshole? Can you see the pattern developing here? One day he even sent me a text saying "I would really like to see you again before 2014." Everytime I suggested something he would say "I'd love to see you, but I have to check my work schedule." Ok buddy, it's time to go fuck yourself and stop wasting my time.
Anytime a guy says they want to see you but it depends on their schedule, just go right ahead and tell them to fuck off, because I quickly learned that these guys are flakes and they are just going to string you along and hurt you in the end. It was a hard lesson to learn, but I'm certainly glad I learned it. Now I can easily spot these fuckers a mile away.
Our first date was incredible. I thought the dating gods were finally smiling upon me and that maybe Bachelor #13 would be my lucky number. He picked me up at my place (which is a rarity but I thought it was very nice), we had dinner at a great Mexican place in West Hollywood, talked and laughed the entire time, and then went to see Marty and Elaine at the Dresden (who doesn't love listening to old people sing at a dive bar?). Afterward we came back to my place and watched a movie (The Devil Inside Me- terrible movie, don't waste your time). In case you're wondering nothing scandalous happened. I was drinking coffee and after I put my mug down he said "I've been waiting for you to put that mug down so I can kiss you." I thought that was really cute (yeah I'm a sucker) and so I gave him permission to kiss me. It was definitely the highlight of my night, considering Bachelor #8 wouldn't make any move whatsoever.
After this glorious date his true colors started to quickly show. He kept telling me he wanted to take me out again. The next week he kept texting me and saying he wanted to go out to dinner... providing that he could get out of work at a decent hour. Well that week it never happened because he allegedly had to work late. Ok fine, I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
The next week passed by, and again he kept saying he wanted to see me. Well the weekend rolled around and this fucking guy ended up going to San Diego with his friend. Then why the hell did you keep saying you wanted to go out you dumb asshole? Can you see the pattern developing here? One day he even sent me a text saying "I would really like to see you again before 2014." Everytime I suggested something he would say "I'd love to see you, but I have to check my work schedule." Ok buddy, it's time to go fuck yourself and stop wasting my time.
Anytime a guy says they want to see you but it depends on their schedule, just go right ahead and tell them to fuck off, because I quickly learned that these guys are flakes and they are just going to string you along and hurt you in the end. It was a hard lesson to learn, but I'm certainly glad I learned it. Now I can easily spot these fuckers a mile away.
Bachelor #12 - You Live Where?
To put the timeline into perspective, I went out with Bachelors 9, 10, 11 and 12 while I was dating Bachelor #8 (Meow Mix), yes I had a pretty busy fall.
I knew it wouldn't work out with Bachelor # 12 because he lived in Costa Mesa, and I didn't have the faintest idea where that even was. We only had 2 dates so this story isn't so interesting, I just learned during the process that I need to find someone within 30 minutes of me because I have 0 desire to commute to see anyone. Our first date we met up in Newport Beach. We had a nice dinner, saw Paranormal Activity 4 (per my request) and then grabbed some drinks after. It was a perfectly nice date, and he was a perfectly nice guy. Here are some red flags I immediately noticed:
1) He was a volleyball coach, aka substitute teacher, aka made no money
2) He hated his stepfamily, like passionately hated them (not a good sign when there's so much hate)
3) He liked to indulge in the "Mary Jane" if you will. I've dated potheads before, I will not date them again.
4) His mother was an alcoholic, and his ex-girlfriend was an alcoholic. Clearly he attracts craziness, and I want no part of that.
Our 2nd date he came to my neck of the woods and we got some dinner and rented a movie. Again, not the most exciting evening ever, but it was fine. After this date he kept asking me to come on over to where he lived, and there was just no part of me that wanted to waste money on gas going to see a guy who I knew it wouldn't work out with long term. So I ended it.
PS- I also ended it because one night he decided to text me a picture of his dick (completely unsolicited mind you) and I quickly realized he was a perverted freak. Yeah, not cool. I told you this wasn't a very interesting story LOL.
I knew it wouldn't work out with Bachelor # 12 because he lived in Costa Mesa, and I didn't have the faintest idea where that even was. We only had 2 dates so this story isn't so interesting, I just learned during the process that I need to find someone within 30 minutes of me because I have 0 desire to commute to see anyone. Our first date we met up in Newport Beach. We had a nice dinner, saw Paranormal Activity 4 (per my request) and then grabbed some drinks after. It was a perfectly nice date, and he was a perfectly nice guy. Here are some red flags I immediately noticed:
1) He was a volleyball coach, aka substitute teacher, aka made no money
2) He hated his stepfamily, like passionately hated them (not a good sign when there's so much hate)
3) He liked to indulge in the "Mary Jane" if you will. I've dated potheads before, I will not date them again.
4) His mother was an alcoholic, and his ex-girlfriend was an alcoholic. Clearly he attracts craziness, and I want no part of that.
Our 2nd date he came to my neck of the woods and we got some dinner and rented a movie. Again, not the most exciting evening ever, but it was fine. After this date he kept asking me to come on over to where he lived, and there was just no part of me that wanted to waste money on gas going to see a guy who I knew it wouldn't work out with long term. So I ended it.
PS- I also ended it because one night he decided to text me a picture of his dick (completely unsolicited mind you) and I quickly realized he was a perverted freak. Yeah, not cool. I told you this wasn't a very interesting story LOL.
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