I don't know if there is something happening in the cosmos, but for some reason a lot of previous Bachelors are coming out of the woodwork like termites. Bachelor #12 (lived hella far and ended our dating time with an unsolicited dick pic) hit me up about a month ago before Spain. One night, at midnight mind you, I get a text from this fool saying "Hey remember me?" and he sent me a picture of his face (fortunately). I don't know why in the world I answered but I was said "yeah I remember you" and then he proceeded to tell me he was in the LA area with this 2 friends but he was kind of the 3rd wheel and wanted to see if I wanted to meet up. TRANSLATION.... "Hey I know I haven't seen you/talked to you in almost a year but I am horny and gross and in your area, do you want to bang?" Now, he didn't say those exact words, but I wasn't born yesterday! I know a booty call when I see one, and that was a classic case. Here are the signs of a booty call, for your education... 1) You get the text late at night- usually between 9pm-1am, 2) It's from someone you haven't talked to in forever, but had relations with previously, 3) The phrase "Do you want to get TOGETHER" - together is the key word in this sentence. You clearly don't get together for coffee or tea at midnight, even a drink at a bar would be late if you are just getting the invite at freak'n midnight!
My response was as such "No, it's midnight, I'm going to bed." You'd think that would have been clear enough.... nope. For some reason he thought texting me that he was "wandering the streets of LA alone" at 1am would convince me to invite him over. I didn't even see those other texts until the next morning. What a loser and what a gross pig!
So then this fool texts me last week, during working hours this time, and says again "Hey remember me?" I said "Yeah I remember you, you sent me a booty call text last month at midnight, claiming you were the 3rd wheel with your friends." He just said "Ha, ha, yeah sorry about that. So what are you up to?" Ummmm how about that I am at work asshole, and maybe you too should get a real job. I didn't say that but I should have. I am expecting another "Hey remember me" text in about a month, I will be more prepared next time with my witty remarks. He is like a rash that won't go away.
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Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Monday, September 16, 2013
So Much For Swearing Off Dating...
So after the nonsense that happened with Bachelor #27 (aka Really Boring Golfer Guy) before my epic trip to Spain (I was in Spain for 2 weeks and it was AMAZEBALLS!), I vowed to give up dating indefinitely. Well, that's like Miley Cyrus vowing to stop twerking... probably not going to last long. I say that because just 3 days after I returned from Spain I get a text from Bachelor #26- completely out of the blue! Now I know I referred to him as a dickhead in my previous post; however, sometimes I think maybe I get a little too carried away/emotionally invested/angry/easily hurt too quickly- and I think that was definitely the case with him. Just because we had 2 awesome dates I automatically think something is going to blossom, and I really need to work on stop expecting things from anyone. That's really sad to say, but it's the truth- and this is my advice to all women. DO NOT EXPECT A GOD DAMN THING FROM ANY MAN, especially ones you are just casually dating. Having any sort of expectation is a death trap, and I fall into it every single time! I digress...
So I see this text and my first thought is "Who the hell is this?" because obviously I deleted his phone # when I stopped hearing from him. So I Googled the # and found his name, and I was like "Holy shit! What in the world does this guy want?" Usually when I get random texts from past Bachelors I automatically delete them because they are assholes and they can suck it. But with Bachelor #26 I had really liked him and his personality, and I was willing to practice putting my anger aside for once and just go with the flow. Simultaneously I thought this was a test from God because I think God likes to f*ck with me sometimes- not that God doesn't have better things to do- but I truly believe He throws shit at me to see what I do, and I kind of feel like I fail every test. I vowed to give up dating and give up on men and here I am responding to this text, I can't commit to anything! Anyway, I respond and sure enough we are texting back and forth for the next several days catching up, like nothing had happened and no time had passed. I won't lie, it was kind of nice talking to him again.
Long story short, last Tuesday we went on our second first date- and I had a great time (against my better judgement). We met up and went to this little Vietnamese restaurant, and just seeing him again after a month and a half was really nice. He was still good looking, with his hair perfectly styled (that's one of the things I liked about him, he has really nice hair and I enjoyed playing with it). We just talked and caught up and it was just as fun as our first first date. After dinner he asked me if I wanted to continue hanging out and asked if I wanted to grab dessert. I of course couldn't resist so we parked at my place and decided to go to this great little gastropub near me. Well first we went upstairs so he could use the restroom and so we walk out of my apartment and he just kisses me right then and there. I won't lie, it was a great moment and when I think about it I still smile. So after we walk to the bar, grab some dessert, talk and laugh more and then walk back to my place. I will honestly say he made me laugh as much as ever, and that's one of the things I really liked about him initially. He is the only guy I've gone out with that genuinely cracks me up.
So we go up to my apartment, which usually ends up in inappropriate situations, but this time nothing that would shame my mother happened, and I was really happy about that. I was kind of worried that he was just looking to get laid, but he didn't make any type of inappropriate advance at all. We just talked for a long time and then before he left to go home he gave me another memorable kiss. He said he wanted to see me again and I said "Ok, I'll see you in a month and a half" since it had been that long since I last saw him. The difference between this time and last time is that I refuse to give a fuck about him. If I see him again then yay, that would be awesome because I enjoy his company. If I don't see him again, well then that's just fucked up haha. Seriously though, I won't understand what the point of going out was if he disappears again. But then maybe there doesn't have to be a point. Maybe that's my problem? I assume everything has to have some sort of meaning, and sometimes that isn't the case. I need to get better at just living life and not assigning meaning to everything that happens.
So I see this text and my first thought is "Who the hell is this?" because obviously I deleted his phone # when I stopped hearing from him. So I Googled the # and found his name, and I was like "Holy shit! What in the world does this guy want?" Usually when I get random texts from past Bachelors I automatically delete them because they are assholes and they can suck it. But with Bachelor #26 I had really liked him and his personality, and I was willing to practice putting my anger aside for once and just go with the flow. Simultaneously I thought this was a test from God because I think God likes to f*ck with me sometimes- not that God doesn't have better things to do- but I truly believe He throws shit at me to see what I do, and I kind of feel like I fail every test. I vowed to give up dating and give up on men and here I am responding to this text, I can't commit to anything! Anyway, I respond and sure enough we are texting back and forth for the next several days catching up, like nothing had happened and no time had passed. I won't lie, it was kind of nice talking to him again.
Long story short, last Tuesday we went on our second first date- and I had a great time (against my better judgement). We met up and went to this little Vietnamese restaurant, and just seeing him again after a month and a half was really nice. He was still good looking, with his hair perfectly styled (that's one of the things I liked about him, he has really nice hair and I enjoyed playing with it). We just talked and caught up and it was just as fun as our first first date. After dinner he asked me if I wanted to continue hanging out and asked if I wanted to grab dessert. I of course couldn't resist so we parked at my place and decided to go to this great little gastropub near me. Well first we went upstairs so he could use the restroom and so we walk out of my apartment and he just kisses me right then and there. I won't lie, it was a great moment and when I think about it I still smile. So after we walk to the bar, grab some dessert, talk and laugh more and then walk back to my place. I will honestly say he made me laugh as much as ever, and that's one of the things I really liked about him initially. He is the only guy I've gone out with that genuinely cracks me up.
So we go up to my apartment, which usually ends up in inappropriate situations, but this time nothing that would shame my mother happened, and I was really happy about that. I was kind of worried that he was just looking to get laid, but he didn't make any type of inappropriate advance at all. We just talked for a long time and then before he left to go home he gave me another memorable kiss. He said he wanted to see me again and I said "Ok, I'll see you in a month and a half" since it had been that long since I last saw him. The difference between this time and last time is that I refuse to give a fuck about him. If I see him again then yay, that would be awesome because I enjoy his company. If I don't see him again, well then that's just fucked up haha. Seriously though, I won't understand what the point of going out was if he disappears again. But then maybe there doesn't have to be a point. Maybe that's my problem? I assume everything has to have some sort of meaning, and sometimes that isn't the case. I need to get better at just living life and not assigning meaning to everything that happens.
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